What is Social Anxiety Disorder?

Social anxiety is characterized by pervasive fear and anxiety manifested in social situations during which the individual is subjected to real or imagined scrutiny by others.  For teenagers, their peer group is often seen as a source of this judgement and as a result the teen often resists social engagement, performance, and asserting their needs due to an exaggerated fear of rejection. Occasional nervousness about peer judgment is to be expected during these years, however, pervasive patterns of avoiding developmentally appropriate social experiences—such as school dances, group outings, or initiating friendships—may signal social anxiety. While many teenagers certainly have a shy or timid temperament by nature, the degree to which this impairs social, emotional, and educational progress can provide insight into whether this behavior deviates from what is typically expected for their natural disposition.

Many teens with social anxiety also endorse overwhelming  intrusive thoughts related to social engagement.  Thoughts such as ““What if they don’t like me?” “What if I say something stupid?” or “What if I embarrass myself?” are frequently cited.  This negative self-talk further exacerbates fears of rejection, increasing the likelihood that the teen will avoid social engagement opportunities.

How Social Anxiety Affects Teen Development

Identity development is a normal and natural process in early adolescence. The great majority transition out of this stage with a newfound sense of self-worth, confidence, insight, and connectedness, often despite social bumps in the road.  However, this stage can be hindered by excessively impairing fears of rejection manifested as social anxiety.

Fear, apprehension, and excessive concern related to integrating into a social group is a common experience for many teenagers, and is generally accepted as a normal part of the developmental experience. However, for teenagers who struggle with social anxiety, initiating and maintaining friendships is like navigating a minefield – an overwhelming, high-stakes endeavor where any misstep seems to carry irreversible consequences. Socially anxious teens often perceive rejection, ridicule, and ostracization as inevitable outcomes of social miscues, even mundane and ordinary ones.  Fears that these outcomes will be permanent  often results in avoidance and isolation from important social experiences that help teens develop the requisite skills necessary to transition into adulthood. While some parents may attribute this isolation to typical teenage moodiness, persistent avoidance and distress in social settings may indicate clinically significant social anxiety.

Six Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Socially Anxious Teens

While these symptoms can be worrying for parents, there are several strategies caregivers can use to help encourage struggling youth to develop confidence in their ability to navigate challenging social situations:

1. Model assertiveness

   Throughout most of the developmental years, parental behaviors serve as a model for how to engage with social situations.  Children and teens are constantly incorporating new information into their social repertoire, and the language and behaviors that parents display in unfamiliar situations can help teens be prepared for these novel experiences themselves. Show them how in other words.

2. Verbalize your thought process While children and teens are able to observe and imitate assertive behavior, it is also important that they hear parents express the cognitive processes through which that behavior manifests.  Adults are no stranger to anxiety and being able to externalize healthy coping statements such as, “this is going to be an uncomfortable situation, but I know that I can handle it” will serve children well for developing their own internal dialogue when encountering similar situations.
3. “I do, we do, you do.”  Parents should take a graduated approach to helping their teen develop social confidence by first demonstrating a specific skill (“I do”), then encouraging the child or teen to join with the parent (“we do”), and then finally suggesting that the teen complete the task independently (“you do”).  This approach will help children to gradually gain confidence in their skillset and allow for parents to observe and correct any errors that may happen during the learning process.
4. Positive praise.  Socially anxious children and teenagers often have negative core beliefs about their abilities in social situations that have been reinforced over years of avoidance and stalled attempts to gain social competence.  Very rarely do they encounter evidence to their successes and innate abilities. Parents can help to foster a healthier pattern of internal dialogue for their teen by making an effort to praise and reward even the smallest displays of social engagement.  Many times this acknowledgement will challenge the teen’s negative core beliefs and motivate them to continue progressing toward even greater levels of social proficiency.
5. Individual Therapy.  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a form of therapy that is shown to be an effective treatment for individuals struggling with social anxiety.  CBT focuses on identifying maladaptive thinking patterns and replacing them with a more helpful style of processing our real-work experiences. Teenagers who receive CBT will learn how to reappraise their thought processes and be taught to view their social miscues as learning opportunities.  CBT is an active form of therapy that takes a hands-on approach, with therapists working with the teen to confront real-world challenges.
6. Group Therapy.  Learning social skills and developing confidence in a group setting can also be an effective adjunctive therapy to further strengthen social development.  Group therapy at Dallas CBT utilizes cognitive-behavioral strategies similar to individual approaches but combines learning opportunities with peer engagement to increase the social validity and generalization of skills.  Group therapy also allows for teens to both give and receive feedback from same-age peers, helping to destigmatize their shared experiences.

When Should Your Teen Get Support From an Exposure Therapist?

While social anxiety can feel debilitating, with the right interventions and support, teens can develop the confidence and skills needed to navigate social situations successfully. By modeling assertiveness, providing gradual exposure, reinforcing positive social interactions, and seeking professional support when necessary, parents can play a crucial role in helping their teens overcome social anxiety and build meaningful connections.

If your teen struggles with social anxiety, our group therapy sessions provide a supportive environment where they can build confidence, develop skills, and connect with peers who understand their challenges.  Reach out today for more information or if you are interested in enrolling your child in any of our individual or group services.

— Jamarri Aikins, PhD —